It’s Not You… It’s Me.
I have 4 friends that just got engaged and 3 close friends that just got into serious relationships. 7 friends with new romances in just the past month. My head has been spinning with love, heavy in the air.
Sparkles in the eyes… sweet nothings being whispered in ears… spring walks under blossomed trees… birds landing on shoulders… dancing in an enchanted forest with chipmunks and squirrels singing love songs… you know… the norm.
I have danced and rejoiced with my two closest friends, my sisters, being pursued by strapping men of God. I have cried joyful tears and laughed freely, genuinely praising God for answered prayer for them.
Let me interrupt this for just one minute. This is not a complaint. There is no, "but" waiting to be said. This is the entrance into what has been rolling around my head the past few weeks. I'm not wanting to complain and be all like,
"God what about me? Did You forget about me? Remember what You promised me?"
Now I'm not going to lie. The temptation to think and pout about it is there. Everyday. Everytime I see my friends being held and looked upon with adoration.
But I have a choice. This is the difference. I think we as women just wait around for that man to show up. Our knight in shining armor that will tell us we're beautiful and perfect for them. Then we will be satisfied with life and can finally have peace.
False.
My friend and I sat outside yesterday sharing our heart's longings. She asked,
"Connie, what do you think we're supposed to do with this desire to be pursued and have a husband?"
I sat there not really knowing what to say. I stumbled around some thoughts and musings and then just gave up. I have no idea.
It's there. It can be denied, but it's still gonna be there. We try to get rid of it and forget about it… but in the end you're still gonna have that desire. It's God given. God built women to want to be pursued by a man. Marriage is the physical picture of Christ and His bride.
But we get so caught up in it that it becomes our constant thought.
"Where is he? When is he coming? God, I know You promised me a godly man so where in the world is he? Could You just tell him to get here? I've been faithful, I've been waiting and I just don't think he sees me. Just tell him to get here. Why is this taking forever? Bring him Abba."
We then talk about him with everyone. We joke about the deepest part of our hearts out of bitterness.
"I'm just sitting here doing my thing. Who knows what he's doing. He's just taking his good time getting to me."
In this process we are unaware that we are the ones taking forever to grasp the truth that God has already told us. It's not them but us that is missing out. This is when that phrase actually works in this scenario: Its' not you, it's me.
Philippians 3: 13 – 14
Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Proverbs 4:25 – 27
Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.
God has called us to be women apart from man. We do not need ANYTHING except Jesus.
He has already called us. I watch women wait around for their husbands to show up so ministry can start. We would rather do ministry with a man of course. But that may not be what God has called us too.
A little secret: Guys don't like women waiting around for them. Well, not the man you're looking for anyway. They want to see you pursuing the dream God has placed on your life. They turn their heads and do a double take when you're too busy having a blast with Jesus.
They hesitate when you are eager for their attention.
We all want our fairytale but it's out of our hands, if we want God's best. As women of integrity, we have told Jesus that our life is not our own and have asked Him to write our story. So here's the challenge:
Stop waiting. Start moving.
Stop talking. Start walking.
Stop whining. Start seeking.
Reminder:
Seek God and Hs righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.
God created us to be loved and for us to love. But it's not just for our husband but for the poor and the needy. Don't forget about the little faces that stole your heart in Africa. Or the beggar that called your name as he lay broken on the street. Or the youth that laughed in your face when you shared Jesus. Or the little girl that doesn't know what innocence is.
You have experienced God's heart and you have the passion, so don't get distracted, but press on.
So no, I still don't know what you're supposed to do with that desire to want a husband. But what I do know to do is to set my eyes on Jesus and pursue His heart.
It is good and lovely to desire a husband. Don't take what I am saying as wrong. I can't wait for my husband to show up and pursue me. It's gonna be beautiful! Jesus has already told me how wonderful it's gonna be.
But don't let this desire hinder the passion God has called you too. To love and put Him first. To love the ones that are unloved. Start going and maybe, just maybe, your husband will meet you along the way.
I want to pray to Jesus that I won't let myself get in the way but that I will rest in His promise. The promise of Himself and His fullness being my inheritance. That I will be His radiant bride first and foremost!
And My Man, I'm sorry I haven"t waited on you with patience when you are waiting on me. I'm sorry I expected things from you when God is my hope and stay. I'm sorry I dishonored you by not trusting you in hearing God's voice. I am sorry I have joked about you out of bitterness when you are just listening to your Papa too.
Psalm 34:5
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
So this is my resolve. That when I see my friends loving on one another that I will look to my King and whisper in His ear,
"Though none go with me, still I will follow."
